So Many Endless Cycles

What sucks about chronic pain conditions are the sheer amount of cycles you as a person are exposed to.

But we can’t talk about them. At least, no one wants us to talk about them.

Migraines cause insomnia, may it be in any of the stages of an attack. The insomnia either exacerbates the attack or triggers the next.

We miss work, and we get stressed about our finances. We get stressed about the strain we put on our loved ones. Stress exacerbates the attack or triggers the next.

Stress also causes insomnia. See above.

Insomnia and stress can cause anxiety and depression, which leads to more attacks, leading to more anxiety over finances and general depression.

I don’t know about you, but I get depressed from how much stress I cause others. That people worry about me all of the time.

Sometimes, it’s all I can do to not break down and cry.

But I don’t cry. I can’t. Crying exacerbates the attack or triggers the next. The tears form, those telltale gasping breaths begin…and I hold them back. Swallow them away.

However, fighting off the tears and sobs exacerbates the attack or triggers the next.

Notice the pattern?

I don’t like to be negative, despite what so many seem to want to believe about me. I don’t like feeling like some sort of useless invalid who does nothing except sleep and cause strain on her friends and family.

Sensing an oncoming attack nearly triggers a panic attack almost every time.

Look above concerning anxiety.

I feel like a failure more often than I feel like a success. My thoughts in times like these get dark, I feel like I am falling into a hole with walls so steep and slick that I will never be able to climb back out. I can’t help but wonder if people think I like being in pain or a general burden on the bulk of society.

I didn’t ask for this.

If I had to chose who should be stuck with this life (allowing that “no one” isn’t a viable answer), I would ask to take it on myself.

Because I wouldn’t wish this life on anyone… Even at my worst, I can’t be that cruel.

I wish I had the ability to at least keep it all to myself. The fact that it affects those I care about, may it be by causing worry or stress, is almost worse than the illness itself.

I want to break the cycle so much.

💖Hearts and Sparkles!💖
~Bunny~

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Rebounding…

I have discussed Rebound Headache/Medication Overuse Headache (MOH) on here more than once. I would not be surprised if I mention it again in the future.

For those of you who don’t feel like reading previous entries, let me sum up:

A Rebound Headache is a phenomenon that occurs in people with headache disorders where the medications (OTC or prescription) they use to fight their symptoms ends up causing more headaches. It’s the worst cycle EVER, and a B***H to break.

According to my research, it is something that only effects people with headache disorders. If you, say, have chronic back pain, taking your aspirin or whatever won’t create more back pain. If you don’t have any sort of headache disorders, you probably won’t ever encounter MOH.

❄️Side Note: I prefer the OTHER version of MOH…Maid of Honor!❄️

At any rate, here is my current situation: About two weeks ago, I got whacked on the noggin. I won’t go into details, because it’s incredibly annoying when I recount them, but it caused many an issue for me. I was taking Tylenol with no results, Aleve with no results, Advil with…see the pattern?

Then, the migraine demon reared it’s ugly head again. I treated it accordingly. Being the fluff-brain I am, I never took into consideration that I was treating a head injury at the same time as the migraines.

Whoops.

Well, here comes Halloween, the busiest day of the year at my place of work, and I had a double shift (about 11.3 hours). I woke up feeling lousy. I suspected a reaction to something I had eaten the day before was messing with my stomach, but I did not have a headache at that point, so Yay! By noon…I had a headache. However, I was assigned the podium position to check people into their appointments, so that helped. A lot, actually. I made it through the shift and home, but by then, I did the “migraine shuffle” into my room. I ate a banana, took some meds, and hoped for the best, because I had another long day the next day (it would have been another double, but I traded the day before, thank every higher power out there…and the coworker who traded with me).

Morning comes, and the migraine is still there. I do my usual routine and take things one step at a time. Long story short, I called in. I even resorted to Demerol. I hate Demerol. Narcotics in general. Hate. Them.

Pain ebbs, so I take it easy.

A few hours pass, and the migraine comes back in full force and then some.

Oh, snap…

I knew what that meant.

I was in REBOUND.

I literally use every weapon in my arsenal to relieve the pain to nothing working. I even took myself to the ER for an IV, and that did nothing for the pain after about 20 minutes of something vaguely resembling relief. If I slept, I woke up in worse pain than when I started.

It is Saturday, and I haven’t worked since Tuesday. I am off Sunday and Monday.

I am still in pain. Although, now, it is maybe at a 6/10 rather than the 10/10 from before. Progress is progress.

My mom put it best, “It’s like when an alcoholic is trying to quit. You just want to have one more drink and it will make it better.”

I just wanted to take one Aleve to make it better. I knew, however, that it would not do me any favors. Maybe a few minutes of relief, maybe hours. But, it would come back. I would cry, shake, sweat…I am literally withdrawing from OTC medications, as well as Imitrex. I can barely move, and my energy comes in spurts (one of which I am utilizing to type this entry for you). It’s awful, and so frustrating. Even my lemon and sea salt potion did nothing. I have never put much thought to it, but having my extra throw blankets in the linen closet in my bathroom was a blessing in disguise when I was too nauseous after a bath to leave the bathroom. At the risk of TMI, I have never been so disappointed to not become physically ill. It was so close…but nothing happened. I just sat there, literally crying, sweating, and drooling, saying to myself, “Please…you will feel so much better…please…” Nothing.

I am very grateful for my Philips Hue light. The Northern Lights effect I can access through the Ambee app is so relaxing.

I have been rotating ice packs in and out of the freezer, and keeping a wet washcloth on my head the rest of the time. My Migraine Kit is literally on my bed. I am drinking Cherry Juice, using all-natural sleep aids, and brewing tea like it is going out of style (namely Pukka’s Tumeric Glow and Revitalize blends, as well as Twining’s Pure Peppermint and Traditional Medicinals’s Chamomile with Lavender brewed together). I also have lots of water handy, and a box of miniature candy canes (since Publix was out of Starlight mints). Food has been simple, bananas, applesauce (with cinnamon for it’s anti-inflammatory qualities), dried cranberries infused with cherry juice (cherries are also natural pain relievers!), and almond milk-based yogurt (almonds are like cherries on the pain relief spectrum). I also have microwave soup (salt helps relieve headache pain), and nibbled on some chipotle corn chips (spicy foods also help relieve pain). I am breaking so many FODMAP rules, but I will deal with that later. My head takes precedence over my gut right now (once the pain is gone, everything will fall back into place).

It’s been rough, but I am feeling a difference. I have my fingers crossed that, by Tuesday, I will be back to myself again.

Here’s hoping…

💖Hearts and Sparkles!💖
~Bunny~

Chronic Illness and Conventions Part Four: Coping with Costumes

Click here for the rest of the “Chronic Illness and Conventions” posts.

Hello! Welcome to Part 4 of my Chronic Illness and Conventions series! This is one that I have been looking forward to writing because I wanted to include firsthand experiences from others in the cosplaying community! Unlike the other parts, this one is really specific to conventions and cosplaying, so I am not sure if it can be adapted to other situations. Maybe with a lot of imagination it can be done?

A big part of fandom conventions is cosplay, and it has only gotten bigger as years progress. Hats, wigs, costumes, armor, corsets…the sky is the limit in this nerd subculture. However, most (not all, but most) conventions take place over the summer. I live in Florida, so that can spell Disaster! Yes, that capital ‘D’ is deliberate. Even without accounting for weather, cosplay can be a challenge for someone living with any sort of chronic condition.

In regards to weather, costumes and wigs can get hot and when it’s 105º in the shade when you take the heat index into account (Really, though, I don’t care that the “real temperature” is 92ºF…just tell me what it is going to feel like!), things can go south in a hot second (pun intended).

My experiences are restricted to Chronic Migraine, but I know that anyone with a chronic condition (may it be pain or illness) is going to keep similar things in mind when constructing a costume.

For example, I have been known to forgo the perfect fabric for one that would be cooler for a Florida con in July. In another instance, it took me hours to get the “wings” of my wig for The Fight Card (from Cardcaptor Sakura) just right to prevent triggering my head.

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When It came to my “Fight Card” wig (usually dubbed “The Beast” by my friends), I took my time to make sure it was balanced perfectly. Mainly, it was due to wigs frequently triggering my migraines, but I also needed to perform in a fight show in this monster! As a result of my efforts, it is one of my most comfortable wigs! Go figure?

I have some costumes that I won’t wear period if I know it is going to be incredibly hot. Namely, my Elizabeth Swann (Pirates of the Caribbean) costume. It is upholstery fabric and very hot. Between that and the heavy wig (it is so thick!), I often get a heat-triggered migraine when wearing this. It is an incredibly heavy dress with several pieces of boning in the bodice, which aggravate a recurrent muscle spasm in my back. I have a love/hate relationship with this one…

copingwithcostumes01

With my Elizabeth Swann costume, to avoid heat-triggered migraines, it is typically reserved for wear during the cooler months. Otherwise, it is only for short-term before I have to change.

I always have a backup costume planned for every event that I plan to cosplay for. I also bring extra clothes in the off chance that I am just not feeling up to cosplaying at all.

Sure, most of my issues concern wigs and headgear, but there are more things I usually consider. If I am in “migraine hangover” mode, and my costume planned is corseted, heavy, or restrictive (like with Elizabeth Swann, pictured above), I will change my plans. If I will need a headband, I plan accordingly (now that I have discovered fully adjustable headbands, that is not as much of an issue). I am also very picky about wig caps, and the only ones that don’t trigger me are the mesh open-ended caps. No nylon for me! Besides, the netting makes pinning the wig on that much easier!

Those are some examples of my experience living with Chronic Migraine. I reached out to cosplayers who are living with chronic conditions to give an example of how they cosplay with their illness or pain. Some just roll with it, others adapt. Please click on Continue Reading to see their accounts. Keep checking back, as I intend to add more anecdotes as I receive them!

Remember, cosplay means “costume play.” It is all about having fun! No one is better than anyone else. We are all adults dressing up on days aside from Halloween. It is really something not to be taken seriously. So, get your nerd on!

💖Hearts and Sparkles!💖

~Bunny~

Do you want to share your story? Head over to the Contact Me page and send me a message with the following information:

Cosplay Alias

Website/Cosplay FB Page

Chronic Illness or Condition (and source, if applicable)

A Link to a Photo of Your Costume (please include character and series!)

Your Story

Continue reading

Product Review: Psi Bands

Yay! Another product review!

One of the worst symptoms encountered with migraine is nausea. Sure the vomiting bit that often comes with it is no picnic, either, but at least you feel better after the fact, ya?

We all have our methods for treating nausea. Anti-emetics are available with a prescription, or over-the-counter treatments like Nauzene tablets (there is a version in liquid form, too!) or Emetrol liquid (I, personally, prefer the latter of the pair, and I usually get it in generic) can be purchased anywhere that has a pharmacy section. These are basically sugar, stemming from days-old reliefs like allowing a spoonful of sugar (or a sugar cube) to dissolve on the tongue to relieve symptoms. Coca-cola was actually invented by a pharmacist as a medicine! But, since medications were taxed, it was eventually sold as a beverage only. (Here is an interesting history of Coke!) One to two tablespoons of Cola Syrup every fifteen minutes could alleviate nausea! If you don’t want to deal with the syrups, sipping at a warm (even flat) Coke can make you feel better. Ginger ale was my go-to ever since I was a kid. I remember suffering an attack at my grandmother’s house when my sister and I were too young to stay home alone while my dad was at work, and she would bring me a glass of ginger ale with a bendy straw to sip at. It always made me feel better. Nowadays, I don’t drink much soda outside of varieties of sparkling waters, but I will still find comfort in a ginger ale.

While I am on the subject of anti-emetics, I will list a few more consumables. Ginger tea or peppermint tea are great, too! My acupuncturist is very big on keeping the core warm when treating migraines. My sister favors peppermint candy (just make sure it has pure peppermint in it! No artificial flavorings!). Bare ginger is another great option! That one has a strong flavor, so it is not for everyone! It was too strong for me, but I cannot deny that I felt results. It also comes crystallized, which would be a little sweeter. Products aimed at expecting mothers are great, too! Preggie Pop, anyone? All-natural lemonade is yet another option.

But, what about people who can’t (or don’t) consume sugar? Or when traveling? Sometimes, the Emetrol runs out at the worst possible moment, or you don’t have access to hot water for tea. It happens. Sometimes, edible remedies just aren’t plausible.

That’s where acupressure comes in! The P6 point is located about three finger widths from the crease in the wrist. It is good for nausea, morning sickness, anxiety, and headaches (Yahtzee!)

Like with the Aculief, which activates the LI4 point, there are products out there for the P6!

I am starting to feel as though acupressure is like when Smart Phone were the New Big Thing. “You want to ________? There’s an app for that!

Now, I have heard about Sea Bands. They are the original. They even have a cute pink pair for new moms (see ❄️ below)! I have heard many great things about them.

There is just one tiny problem…

I hate wristbands. Like, the sweatband style popular among skateboarders. I have really never been a fan. They feel bulky to me, they chafe my skin when wet (my skin can be temperamental), and they get hot. I also have scrawny wrists, so if they stretch out…well, that’s it.

Enter Psi Bands! While I found them on Amazon, they are available at major chain stores (Target, Walgreens, CVS, etc.). They come in several colors, and are a adjustable band like a watch. The button that activates the pressure point is also adjustable with a little dial.

Aside from my migraines causing nausea, I also can get a little motion-sick on long car trips. Not so far as nausea, per se, but I’m not exactly comfortable! I have some cross-country flights coming up in a few weeks, and the longest flight I’ve been on was three hours, so I have no idea if a six-plus-hour flight will make a difference.

Needless to say, I couldn’t resist.

I purchased them on Amazon in the color “Cherry Blossom.” Not too long ago, I got hit with a killer attack and had the opportunity to give them a go.

I put them on per the included instructions, which were incredibly simple to follow, and lied down. I didn’t get more than uncomfortably queasy until I took them off to take a bath. In hindsight, I probably should have left them on! They are waterproof, after all. I am a dumb bunny. 🙄


They are super cute and not quite as recognizable as Sea Bands. I like how thin and lightweight they are, and they are simple to put on. It does take a little bit of finagling to get the fit just so, but the dial helps a ton for the fine tuning.

Honestly, I am glad I got them. Like with all holistic treatments, it is not a miracle cure. It aides symptoms of nausea, but it is not going to make you have the ability to dance a jig on the rooftops. However, a little less misery goes a long way when it comes to migraine pain.

🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰/🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰 I was prepared to just do 4, but they gained a bunny with their design.

I highly recommend Psi Bands to anyone who suffers with nausea, for whatever reason that may be.

💖Hearts and Sparkles!💖
~Bunny~

❄️ Edit: I originally said the Sea Bands for Mom were lavender. My sister corrected me that they were baby pink. Whoops! She owns a pair because she wanted a more fun color than gray or black, and I really don’t blame her. Who cares if she isn’t a mom? Thanks, Juju!

Product Review: FoMI Hot/Cold Gel Therapy Eye Mask

In a recent Amazon order, I acquired a handful of holistic relief methods for migraines. I have already posted the first review from that order (Review for Aculief found here!), and here is the next!

The second item I would like to talk about is FoMI’s Hot/Cold Gel Therapy Eye Mask. This is a mask that is designed to reduce dark circles and puffiness around the eyes, and is a good size to be used for muscle aches around the body (like the shoulder). It is reversible, vinyl on one side and incredibly soft fabric on the other. It can be used at room temperature (where it still feels cool), heated in the microwave (the company recommend taking care with this and not heating it for more than 15 seconds at a time and do not put it on your eyes if it is too hot), or frozen. The gel bead filling remains soft and flexible, even after I left it in the freezer overnight.

It comes in three color options: Blue, Stripes, and Leopard (the last of which uses clay and aromatherapy), and all have coordinating elastic straps with Velcro closures.

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I got mine with stripes.

When I woke up this morning with a headache, I went ahead and put mine on and see what happens. The texture reminds me of the TheraºPearl products, I put it soft-side to my eyes, fastened the straps, and lied down. At first, I thought that it may be too cold, it was almost uncomfortable. However, any ice pack is like that, so I made like Elsa and let it go.

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After a few minutes, I was notably relaxed, and I dozed off. It is very comfortable, even though the straps took a little finessing to get just right, but that is how things are when they are adjustable.

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When I woke up, my headache was just about gone! What I really like about this is that it blocks all light! It’s like a an instant dark/cold room! It was really great! Even after it was no longer frozen-level cold, it was still relaxing, so I just left it on for a while.

It is currently back in my freezer for my next headache or migraine!

Amazon sells this for $9.99, and like the rest of my relief-box order, qualified for free shipping. Definitely a good deal! Find more FoMI products on their website!

I give the FoMI Gel Eye Mask 🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰//🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰 I really can’t think of anything about it that I don’t like, honestly. I definitely recommend this to anyone who suffers from Chronic Migraine, or any sort of headache condition. It’s a fantastic addition to your recovery regime.

💖Hearts and Sparkles!💖
~Bunny~