I hate saying, “I’m okay,” even when I am…or when I think I am.
I try to be a “glass half full” sort, despite having every reason not to be. In every situation, I try to find a glimmer of a silver lining. Sometimes, it’s hard. Sometimes, it’s really hard, but it’s there, even when I have to make it up.
I’m between neurologists, due to a change in insurance pushing my out of the network of my last one. I got my referral in February (like, the first week of), and I get a call from a Neurology center, telling me to call them back to schedule an appointment, even though the earliest one they had was April.
Okay. Fine. It’s only been since November since my Botox. It’s already totally gone from my system, and I’ll have to essentially start again and not see results for the better part of nine months. What’s another two?
“We don’t have a referral for you.”
“I am literally returning your call where you said you got my referral and to call and schedule an appointment for April.”
“Who called you?”
“Umm…you did, ma’am.”
“No, it wasn’t me.”
(Aside: She has a distinctive tonality to her voice, not unlike yours truly does, and a thick accent…and she left her name on my voicemail. If it wasn’t the same person, she has a voice twin out there impersonating her.)
So, essentially, she called me a liar, and made me call my PCP back to resend the referral. I do them one better.
I physically go to my PCP’s office.
“What do you mean, they don’t have it, I am the one who sent it!”
How serendipitous to get to speak to the same receptionist who sent over my referral initially? Glass: half full.
She sends it again, and I watch her do it. She hands me a copy with time stamps as evidence.
I call back. Now, they don’t have openings until June.
Oh, and they still don’t have my referral and can’t even make an appointment until it is in their possession. Their office is nearly an hour from me, so it isn’t as though I can just pop over after work.
“I literally watched her send it to you.”
“Well, we don’t have it.”
🙄 …how is that my fault?
I have every intention of asking for a referral to a new new neurologist, because my migraines are back to uncontrollable and I need treatment, like, yesterday.
…whoa…pardon that rant. I strayed a bit off topic, didn’t I?
Sorry, and I know I’ve mentioned the neurologist thing before.
Good news: it appears that the pneumonia has finally run its course.
Back on track.
I hate saying, “I’m okay,” right now. Because I could be okay that moment, but then I won’t be mere hours later.
Then, I feel like a liar. Either I lied about being okay, or I am lying about being less okay. I’m honestly not sure which one. Both, maybe?
I can’t decide if I am ever actually okay, or if I’m jinxing myself by saying so.
I am literally becoming afraid to say that I am okay.
And that is not okay.
💖Hearts and Sparkles!💖